The Midnight Ride of The Vomit Brigade
I wrote in a previous post about some of the challenges facing patients after weight loss surgery, including the hazards of clumping and dumping. Clumping/dumping can happen when the patient either: eats the wrong thing or something that is too dry; eats too much; or eats too fast. In the case of dumping, the food goes too quickly into the intestinal tract and is promptly dumped out, shall we say, south of the border, usually with severe cramps as well. Clumping happens north of the border, when the food clumps up at the entrance to the stomach and feels like it will not go down. It is painful, scary and nauseating. Some patients describe the sensation as what they imagine a heart attack would feel like.
I've been pretty fortunate not to have experienced much of either kind of post-food episode. However, a couple of nights ago, after having a long day and going too many hours without a meal, I clumped, big time. I was eating baked chicken, a perfectly fine food choice for me. But my belly was empty and I ate my chicken too fast, and I ended up making myself sick. Shortly after I finished my supper I began to feel intense pain behind my breastbone combined with overwhelming waves of nausea, and I eventually vomited. This is a big deal in my world because I very rarely throw up, and when I do it's usually caused by something needing medical attention.
These details are not pretty, I realize, but they are part and parcel of the journey I am on right now. Lots of people assume that weight loss surgery and recovery glide by without a hitch, patients magically shrink without any effort and life after surgery is all rainbows and unicorns and fairy dust. This is not the case at all. As my pain and nausea began, I knew what was happening to me and knew that I was not having a heart attack, that it would eventually pass, and I tried to relax and take slow, deep breaths until it did. Unfortunately, this episode was not to pass without the intervention of the Vomit Brigade.
What did I learn from all this unpleasantness? First of all, no matter how empty my belly feels, I cannot rush a meal. EVER. Secondly, I learned that throwing up after surgery will not kill me, because it didn't. It actually happens to lots of patients. I was just really fortunate to have avoided it this long. And thirdly, I learned that even this far out from surgery, my body is still very much in healing mode. My recovery is not complete yet. There is a reason patients don't enter phase 4 diet until 6 months post-op.
Having said all this, I am happy to report that the morning after the Ride of the Vomit Brigade, I felt pretty much back to normal, with only a headache to remind me of the previous night's adventure. And as unpleasant and painful as it was, I hope never to forget the experience and its sensations. If I forget history, I may be bound to repeat it. NOT what I want.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Monday, September 17, 2012
Dr. FancyPants and The Stirrups of Doom
Surviving the Annual Indignity
First thing in the morning I will be in the office (and stirrups) of my gynecologist, affectionately known as Dr. FancyPants. My family doctor laughs every time he hears me call my lady-parts doctor by that moniker. I figure since I am in a position of such vulnerability, the least I can do is give the guy a snarky name.
I have written previously and extensively about The Girls and their care and containment. But there are important concerns south of the border as well, and it is vital that we take care of those tropical vacation spots by seeing the appropriate medical professionals, having the proper screenings and tests done annually, and keeping track of our cycles on the calendar. These simple steps can alert us to possible health problems and even save our lives.
I got my period when I was 11 years old. I was fortunate that I had a Mama who had told me what was coming, and she told me in a way that didn't freak me out or make me think I was going to die when it came. Her Mama had told her nothing about it at all, and when her period came she thought something was horribly wrong with her. Those things just didn't really get discussed back then, certainly not as freely as they are today. I mean, I am writing a blog entry about it, for Patti's sake!
The Annual Indignity and the Slam-o-Gram are not things that most ladies would honestly say that they look forward to with glee and jubilation, but we realize how necessary they are. Most of us know someone who has been touched by a gynecologic cancer, or a cancer scare. Even I have had the occasional "abnormal" Pap test result, and have endured the re-testing and nervous waiting for the result that I hoped would be normal the second time around. I've been fortunate not to have any serious problems. Knock wood and Lord willing, all that stuff down there will continue to be OK.
Truth be told, Pap tests, pelvic exams and mammograms are not all that unpleasant, or at least, they shouldn't be. It can be a little uncomfortable, and that discomfort is due largely just to being undressed. With these tests there is usually some pressure, but there should not be pain. If there is pain, there is a problem. Sometimes the person performing the exam is just too rough. Sometimes, though, the pain is a symptom of something wrong (cyst, tumor, etc.), in which case it is good that the patient is getting examined in the first place. Early detection can save lives.
I'll discuss with Dr. FancyPants my new normal, the weight loss surgery and what it's doing to my hormones and lady parts. Maybe he will have suggestions for ways I can mitigate some of the changes I am experiencing. I'd be happy if he offered to scoop out my uterus with a rusty spoon, but somehow, I doubt that offer will be forthcoming. I will pray for normal test results and a good rest of the day. I will be thankful for all the doctors who take care of me and help me to take care of myself. And I will say a prayer for Dr. FancyPants, because I know what I look like undressed, and no one should have to start their day with a naked Diva on their examining table!
First thing in the morning I will be in the office (and stirrups) of my gynecologist, affectionately known as Dr. FancyPants. My family doctor laughs every time he hears me call my lady-parts doctor by that moniker. I figure since I am in a position of such vulnerability, the least I can do is give the guy a snarky name.
I have written previously and extensively about The Girls and their care and containment. But there are important concerns south of the border as well, and it is vital that we take care of those tropical vacation spots by seeing the appropriate medical professionals, having the proper screenings and tests done annually, and keeping track of our cycles on the calendar. These simple steps can alert us to possible health problems and even save our lives.
I got my period when I was 11 years old. I was fortunate that I had a Mama who had told me what was coming, and she told me in a way that didn't freak me out or make me think I was going to die when it came. Her Mama had told her nothing about it at all, and when her period came she thought something was horribly wrong with her. Those things just didn't really get discussed back then, certainly not as freely as they are today. I mean, I am writing a blog entry about it, for Patti's sake!
The Annual Indignity and the Slam-o-Gram are not things that most ladies would honestly say that they look forward to with glee and jubilation, but we realize how necessary they are. Most of us know someone who has been touched by a gynecologic cancer, or a cancer scare. Even I have had the occasional "abnormal" Pap test result, and have endured the re-testing and nervous waiting for the result that I hoped would be normal the second time around. I've been fortunate not to have any serious problems. Knock wood and Lord willing, all that stuff down there will continue to be OK.
Truth be told, Pap tests, pelvic exams and mammograms are not all that unpleasant, or at least, they shouldn't be. It can be a little uncomfortable, and that discomfort is due largely just to being undressed. With these tests there is usually some pressure, but there should not be pain. If there is pain, there is a problem. Sometimes the person performing the exam is just too rough. Sometimes, though, the pain is a symptom of something wrong (cyst, tumor, etc.), in which case it is good that the patient is getting examined in the first place. Early detection can save lives.
I'll discuss with Dr. FancyPants my new normal, the weight loss surgery and what it's doing to my hormones and lady parts. Maybe he will have suggestions for ways I can mitigate some of the changes I am experiencing. I'd be happy if he offered to scoop out my uterus with a rusty spoon, but somehow, I doubt that offer will be forthcoming. I will pray for normal test results and a good rest of the day. I will be thankful for all the doctors who take care of me and help me to take care of myself. And I will say a prayer for Dr. FancyPants, because I know what I look like undressed, and no one should have to start their day with a naked Diva on their examining table!
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Three Months Since My Surgery
And time for the monthly update...and a "monthly" update
I'll start with basic vital statistics. Since surgery I am down 42 pounds, and 69 pounds total. Again, it's not lightning-fast, but WAY better than before the surgery. The hair loss is still a nuisance, but I am hopeful that it doesn't become more than that.
I'll be honest here, August just sucked for weight loss. I hit my first real plateau since my surgery. My scale shows not only my weight, but also my body fat and water percentages. I could see my body fat creeping down and my water creeping up, and my weight not moving much at all. Weight loss patients experience the occasional plateau, so I tried not to stress about it too much.
Finally my weight began to move again in the right direction...after I received a visit from The Cramp Fairy. Lady hormones, cycles and birth control are issues discussed in the last big half-day class before surgery. We learn that, even if a woman thinks she has gone through menopause, once weight loss surgery happens and she begins to lose weight and body fat, hormones can run amok and, as a result, irregular or nonexistent menstrual cycles can come back, and with a vengeance. For this reason, we are told to begin using an extra birth control method if we don't wish to become pregnant.
This concludes the educational portion of this blog post.
I'm 48 years old. I've been experiencing night sweats off and on since I was 30. My cycles started becoming really irregular/skipping when I was about 40. I don't plan on having any human children and would be more than glad to donate my uterus for scientific research. Every time I get a period, I pray that it will be my last one. So naturally I was not thrilled when The Cramp Fairy arrived. But her arrival did explain my rising water levels and at least part of my plateau.
Aside from The Cramp Fairy's visit, some cool things have happened. My shape is changing. I found my waist yesterday! My ankles aren't bothering me nearly as much now. My clothes continue to get bigger, so much so that I started digging through my closet to see what I have in smaller sizes that I can work with. I found some pants that fit better, which is good, but they lack pockets, which is sad. (I believe everything should have pockets, including nightgowns and pajamas.) I'll wear the pocketless pants and find someplace else to carry my phone.
Probably in my bra. There is a little more room in there now as well!
I'll start with basic vital statistics. Since surgery I am down 42 pounds, and 69 pounds total. Again, it's not lightning-fast, but WAY better than before the surgery. The hair loss is still a nuisance, but I am hopeful that it doesn't become more than that.
I'll be honest here, August just sucked for weight loss. I hit my first real plateau since my surgery. My scale shows not only my weight, but also my body fat and water percentages. I could see my body fat creeping down and my water creeping up, and my weight not moving much at all. Weight loss patients experience the occasional plateau, so I tried not to stress about it too much.
Finally my weight began to move again in the right direction...after I received a visit from The Cramp Fairy. Lady hormones, cycles and birth control are issues discussed in the last big half-day class before surgery. We learn that, even if a woman thinks she has gone through menopause, once weight loss surgery happens and she begins to lose weight and body fat, hormones can run amok and, as a result, irregular or nonexistent menstrual cycles can come back, and with a vengeance. For this reason, we are told to begin using an extra birth control method if we don't wish to become pregnant.
This concludes the educational portion of this blog post.
I'm 48 years old. I've been experiencing night sweats off and on since I was 30. My cycles started becoming really irregular/skipping when I was about 40. I don't plan on having any human children and would be more than glad to donate my uterus for scientific research. Every time I get a period, I pray that it will be my last one. So naturally I was not thrilled when The Cramp Fairy arrived. But her arrival did explain my rising water levels and at least part of my plateau.
Aside from The Cramp Fairy's visit, some cool things have happened. My shape is changing. I found my waist yesterday! My ankles aren't bothering me nearly as much now. My clothes continue to get bigger, so much so that I started digging through my closet to see what I have in smaller sizes that I can work with. I found some pants that fit better, which is good, but they lack pockets, which is sad. (I believe everything should have pockets, including nightgowns and pajamas.) I'll wear the pocketless pants and find someplace else to carry my phone.
Probably in my bra. There is a little more room in there now as well!
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