We'll always have oatmeal...

Wednesday, 10-26-11
Back to Work

Some days it just seems like I need a "mental health holiday".  Today was like that.  Yesterday my self-esteem took a bit of a beating at the surgeon's office, coming face-to-face as I did with the hard truth of just how far I have let myself go.  So today was day 1 of the preparations-in-earnest for the new, improved, shrinking me. 

My work is stressful on a good day when nothing unexpected happens.  Today in my work e-mail was a message from my boss summoning me and several members of my team into a meeting to rehash a problem that occurred nearly a month ago.  I was already in a foul mood because I was hungry!  Oatmeal saved the day, and my sanity. 

I know that as I withdraw from unhealthy foods and drinks, and learn a new eating pattern, I will have moments of moodiness, sadness, annoyance or outright anger.  I need to radically decrease, if not entirely eliminate, caffeine and carbonation from my drinking.  The last time I gave up caffeine, I was in college.  I gave it up for Lent, and my college choir toured during spring break, which also fell during Lent.  Touring with my choir was a joy every year, and we all gave up our spring break willingly in order to do the tour.  But the schedule, singing a full concert at least once a day, traveling by bus in close quarters over hundreds of miles, sometimes enduring extremes in climate, sleeping in a different town every night and eating plate after plate of good old Baptist hospitality, all took its toll on us.  It was grueling...wonderful, but grueling.  Giving up caffeine during this time made me a much more cranky Diva than I would have been anyway.  I am imagining that I will be more cranky this time because I don't have youth on my side!

As a lifelong migraine sufferer, I also know that caffeine withdrawal can trigger THUNDERING headaches.  That prospect does not bring me joy, either.  I'll have to do the caffeine part gradually, while I deal with some unaccustomed hunger pangs during this time as well.  My list of "good for the Diva" foods will be a constant companion for a while until I'm used to making healthy choices for myself.  My list, and a packet of oatmeal.